1. Your ex. I realize the common response to defriending you ex is "Really? You're that immature?" but I disagree. People who say you can be friends with your ex after a break up are just wrong. There's nothing healthy about seeing pictures of them with the new asshole they're raking around, and there's nothing "friendly" about you posting pictures of yourself a few drinks under, draped over the arm of your cousin (who, in a disgusting twist of logic, you hope your ex will mistake for a new fling).
2. People who only interact with you to invite you to their 'latest gig.' Or even worse, someone else's crappy gig.
3. People whose profiles make you feel dirty just by looking at them. This includes those freak exhibitionists who relish a running public update of their sex lives. But this also covers those whose profiles seem to have a scuzzy film of gray over everything; their photos are scary and poorly lit, their activities are always indoors and/or related to something you don't understand, their top friends are their mom and their cat, and their posts are never liked. ... by anyone. :(
4. People with fake names, who after you look at their profile picture, you still don't know who they are.
5. People who invite you more than once to play a Facebook game/download an app. I can understand the one-time slip, or super urgent measures for quick points, coins, or whatever. But not more than once. Never more than once, friend.
6. People who are prettier than you. If you're like me, there are plenty of people who are prettier than you, without a doubt. But then, there are those few select Cadillacs who can make grocery shopping look like a scene out of New York Fashion Week. And admit it, when you're in the mood for self-deprecation, you find yourself scanning their tagged photos, wondering at their luminous skin, perfect teeth, and model-esque figures.
Dump 'em. Chances are, you (and multitudes of others) are only their friend by association. Which is exactly what those urchins live off of.
7. All high school teachers. I don't careeee dude I don't care what kind of relationship you and Mr. Chou had, it's weird. Invite him to your wedding, make him the godfather of your firstborn. Don't keep him as a Facebook friend.
8. People you met (once) online. We've all been there. A particularly enlightening Omegle. Someone you almost went on a date with off POF. Let them go. No harm, no foul.
9. Sports guy. Not one... not even one post that's non-sports related? C'mon, Angelo, you used to be so well-rounded! What happened to you?
10. Way, way smarter than you guy. You're never going to click any of those links to New York Times articles. You know you should care about the multinational's corruption of the the politico-media complex, but damn it you don't. You just... don't.
If you wanna go hard, add to the list: obnoxiously married people, people who are obnoxious about their kids, and anyone you don't say "happy birthday" to.