An absurd observation about humans: when they create baked goods from scratch, it's like watching someone come into parenthood. "Look how sweet they are!" they coo into the oven window. "Oh no this poor guy" they whisper while holding the exploded seams of a broken pastry pocket.
I've learned this week I am no better off. Look at these eleven lil guys:
1. Stewart: the ladies can't resist his bulbous forehead.
2. Rex: so angry he's actually burst the vein in his neck.
3. Percy: extremely suspect, a lot of holes in his stories.
4. Squamous: uncomfortable, unable to use full sentences.
5. Brock: Mr. Popular. gregarious, funny, and warm.
6. Doreen: wants everyone to quiet the fuck down.
7. Sherwin: delightfully plump, bashful.
8. Erin: nondescript. maybe a serial killer.
9. Maggie: very flirtatious; prone to blushing.
10. Barnaby: doesn't like the way you're looking at him.
11. Latrice: perpetual optimist, watches a lot of The Bachelor.